Many forms of therapy lead us to believe that we are like onions and that by peeling away the layers we reveal our true selves. Internal family Systems (IFS), a system of psychotherapy designed by Dr Richard Schwartz, says we are more like a garlic. We are made up of many parts which all come together to constitute the whole of who we are.

Just like the loyal soldiers of WW II who kept fighting because they didn’t know the war was over, some of our parts don’t know that we no longer needs their services.

For example, the part that wanted to protect me from other boys, was very useful when I was bullied as a kid. But as an adult I no longer need its protection.  In fact it gets in the way of my relationships with other men.

Rather than admonishing it and saying “what’s wrong with you? “ I can thank that part for its years of service and ask it to find a different role in my system.

IFS  is a complex and structured process which I love exploring. It makes me happy to know that my true self has the ability to be aware of all my parts and to be curious rather than judgmental of any of them.  It also makes me happy to teach and guide others in this modality.

For more about this fascinating system visit https://ifsca.ca